I haven't posted in some time for many reasons. I feel that lucid dreaming and astral projection give me anxiety all together. Although, I would love to share my experiences now. I would like to see others views on this. It's a very fuzzy memory so please bare with me. I remember open water, it looked like the ocean except for this one was a dark black color. The sky around me was a dark gray; I seemed to be flying above it, going quite fast. I could feel the air around me as I flew through the sky. I remember looking down at this dark, black water and being curious of it.
I don't remember much after this but I ended up back in the same hallway I always dream of. This time, the door that's always a dark color, seemed to push open by itself. Behind the door were two beings. One a pale child like creature with two giant eyes, and a bulbous head. He reminded me of an alien. I couldn't see the other one. I remember it being above the smaller one. They gazed at me before I called out; I'm not afraid of you. The dream ended and I woke up having mild panic attacks. This was a first with those two beings. I always dream of hooded entires behind the door. Never of other entities.
I don't understand why I end up in that same hallway. There's always something behind that door, waiting for me. Some nights I hate falling asleep with fear of dreaming of that same place and seeing those creatures waiting for me. Seeing that dark ocean was a new thing for me. What do they want with me? Help
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But this isn't about me, other than what I just described, the color of emotions within our being, dramatically effects both our dreams and projection, to the point it can and will make what one finds a delightful new experience, would be the dread of the darkest pits, viewed and experienced by one already sure the situation would be yet another terrified instant that I hope theypossess my ability to awaken in a few seconds. (YES! I fly mote than walk, hover too be it dream, etheric or Astral, and there's simply nothing more exhilarating than is those winds whipping against my face, my energy body especially being chased!) I suspect the waking world has a large part to play in your situation, and I hope 5 years later that you've gotten over that hill or mountain, because that perpetual knowledge that anxiety is always bubbling next to the surface, easily able to escape its become so unmanageable, will absolutely haunt your dreams, and color projecting if you cam, aswhen I've been that upset over the long term, projecting simply isn't possible.
My advice to all facing stuff like this especially when such stress cannot be avoided, us trying to refrain dream, as your domain, your safe place, a land of which you alone have ultimate control. Easier said than done, but I've had great results from writing it down, putting various affirmations on post its, that caused loads of hilarious laughter from both lovers and friends during my most prodigious moments (I'd put them on my ceiling, doors, mirrors, anywhere I knew I'd be reading them dozens of times a day lol!) During my daily meditations I'd also carry my list of current major affirmations on paper and mind, and would simply concentrate on seeing each one separately, seeing me after each success. And, while my "self-hypnosis" may seem utterly bonkers, and once tried completely unhelpful, these things take time, with success won not by simply doing them, but by doing them again and again effortlessly, as the master replicates yet another masterpiece, adding just a little bit more to their repertoire, becoming just a hint more refined each time.
Done over the short-term, you'd hardly know the difference, but over months, years, decades? You'll see some profound leaps of growth, talent and state of being. Just hearing about your dream, ad I am the sage, the warrior, and the adventurer most of all, I'd immediately want to feel that water (water feels like water over there to me, and it's wondrous as I love to swim, competed in swimming for years, and I find things velvety black, the darkness complete not only curiously mysterious, but once in them deeply comforting). But those beings? Raging curiosity, and as my adventurous side, the thrill of possible danger or hopefully simply a new and completely foreign meeting with two likely sentient beings, simply to awesome to not accidentally perhaps scare them as I raced forward to meet them! To most, yes, they'd think it entirely mad to do, but not to someone who fought his own night terror into exhaustion, even if it choked my being with the kind of horrors you've woken up at 3am, positive you won't be sleeping again until the next night, but are bathed in a sweat not even a video game, a great book or even jog can shake for an hour.
So I hope you're still trying, have found a new center, and hopefully still reading posts on here. But if nor, to the others here reading, in life and in the other side/subjects we're engaging in here, how we emotionally approach them changes them, often in a night or day level of difference, dramatically so. Negative experiences are both great, and utterly defeating if we must face them again and again with no recourse. Repeated Defeat haunts every step you take afterward, especially those defeats leaving us helpless. I'm old enough have failed enough times my skin is thicker and harder than plate steel, and still my defeats, my doubt end up coloring various pursuits, I continue to make, but I know this and know one foot in front of the other, the slog, is still the better way forward. But when anxiety even haunts our dreams? I hope you find the real culprit and put it back into the dark little hole that birthed it. Easier said than done. Finally, come toward meditation, dream, projection with the mentality those gifts of existence are yours to enjoy, your safe place, and my bit about self-hypnosis can truly change that approach in incredible ways, chip by chip done daily. A little fear great too, and my greatest reliever of anxiety/stress, 5-10 Mike's of cardio, might be just what the right medicine too. I very much hope you've found your medicine Gremthena!