In 2008, I was going through a hard divorce, I did not take it well, I was deeply sadden. I was unable to sleep and often woke up in the middle of the night upset. So being a smoker, I would go outside to sit on the patio. That is when I started having visions. I was unaware of the dangers in store until one night.
I closed my eyes and saw the face of a bright white luminous man with black eyes and mouth, smiling. I continued to keep my eyes closed, I was not frightened. I examined my surroundings. There were several tables with red chairs and a beaming bright light behind me. I could not find the source no matter which way I looked. There was also a lush green yard surrounded by tall trees. As I stared at the trees the seasons passed. Summer, green deep leaves. Fall came with vivid red, yellow and orange leaves. Winter brought the cold, I could feel my breath with every exhale. I let the seasons pass, it seemed like time was passing me by. Over me somehow. I am unsure how many seasons passed, more than 7? I had this vision on repeat for several years.
After that night, I began to have visions more often. During the day as well. I had no problem with it until one day when I was driving home on a busy freeway, going 75 rpm. I remember blinking, then I was in a vast field. I tried not to panic. I could not see anything but the field. I knew I only had seconds before I hit someone or ran off the road. So I concentrated on seeing the freeway, then the field disappeared. I pulled over very shaken! I worried if I would be able to drive home. Eventually, after an hour of playing music and getting my mind off the vision I was able to drive home. That day I realized I had a very serious problem. It didn't matter that no one understood or believed me. I knew what was happening was real because it had happen before when I was young.
I've had strange things happen to me all my life. My earliest memory was at 3 years old, with people calling my name, but I have never had visions. Since 2008 I have foreseen the deaths of loved ones, through visions. It's like experiencing their death twice or more. I have lost 8 people I loved, the most recent one in September 2019. I have another with terminal cancer, she is in her 40s. This "gift" is not something I encourage. In fact, I try to suppress it and found that it affects my health. I don't know how to use it. I can control it somewhat but it is ever prevalent. Any insight would be appreciated.